Step #9 - Dating Deal Breakers
It could be on a first date, or after several months of dating, that you start to notice little things that annoy you. Your date starts eating dinner before everyone at the table has been served, or their favorite phrase is “dude.” When do these annoyances rise above an irritation to a full blown deal breaker?
Identifying your deal breakers before you start dating is valuable. Most people will only have a handful of deal breakers. If you don’t already know your deal breakers, here is a way to begin identifying them.
Evaluate your dating goals (read how) and establish your perfect date. Are you looking for someone who likes scuba, enjoys music, or has a particular faith/religion? After you have established your “ideal type”, what attributes would absolutely prevent your “ideal type” from fulfilling your dating goals. Remember to be realistic and honest.
Some examples of deal breakers include:
Religion – Is it important to share a religious faith with your partner? What if religion plays an important part of your life, and you start dating an agnostic. What if the agnostic is perfect in every other way? Can you convert them, or will you be satisfied practicing your faith without your partner at your side? Children – Topics to consider: One of you wants children and the other does not, or one of you already has children. Drugs and Alcohol – What is your view on drug, alcohol and nicotine consumption? Geographic Location – Where do you want to live? Is this flexible or not?
Deal breakers aren’t habits or behaviors that are likely to easily change, if at all. Knowing your deal breakers and addressing them early on in a relationship, can save valuable time.
1 comment:
I've recently come face to face with one of my most precious Deal Breakers. Because I had already thought through (and written down) what I will and won't bend on, when it came up in conversation, I was able to calmly and clearly state how important that is to me (having children, always a fun topic for date #3). In the past I would have probably glossed it over, pretended it wasn't that big of a deal so I could keep dating a guy that I really liked. But it is a big deal to me, and he heard it (I didn't sound like some whiny girl playing games - again...calm and clear). So now he knows if he wants to keep seeing me (and every indication says that he does), we both know that he will have to be willing to someday be called "Daddy". It sucks, but it's real life, and something I know won't regret later.
Post a Comment