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Thursday, April 5, 2007

My advice is right; Even if you don't want to hear it.

In response to an email:

You cannot paint the whole 'relationship' thing with a few examples, make your own rules of happiness, and expect that everyone should follow these rules because they work for you.

Of course one response will not cover every possible contingency. MATCHinform’s “rules” are more aptly described as guidelines based on the experiences of many who have discovered, after many failures, that success can be attained if one thinks before one acts.

We are recommending that, when dating with the goal of developing a good, long-term relationship, one keeps his/her eyes open for red flags. We also suggest one follow our guidelines as closely as possible, under whatever the particular circumstances are; however we hope that one does not attempt to fool him/herself by painting actions that cause failure as mere "contingencies."

We have recommended that a 40 year old man, who lives with his mother should raise a flag; however, this flag is a warning and not necessarily a "stop sign". Perhaps he lives with mother because she is ill, and in need of assistance, making him a responsible son, and not an immature, momma's boy.

Every relationship is different as are all people; however, when one has experienced a series of failed relationships, and each of these have been eerily similar, one should not waste valuable time and energy defending the actions that might have caused such failures. One should reflect on what has to change and attempt to make the positive changes needed.

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