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Friday, April 6, 2007

Smart at Love - the Blog

Over the course of the past two weeks, I have added links under “Dating Advice Blogs.” These blogs, as well as others that I will continue to add in the future, have substantive content even if I do not agree with their points of view.

The links were deliberately chosen. All of the authors present themselves as “experts” in the dating industry. For example, Annie Dennison of Smart at Love touts her PhD in psychology, fifteen years of dating experience, and career as a Southern California dating and relationship coach.

In Smart at Love’s most current post, It's not a magical moment when a drunk man says he loves you, Dr. Dennison explores the meaning behind “I love you” and relationship expectations. In this post, she fails to tie the two thoughts together. But if you can cut to the chase in her verbose essay, she appears to take the stance that women now have more realistic expectations of men and thus, when a man tells a woman that he loves her, the woman can assess the meaning behind the statement from the context in which it was presented.

While Dr. Dennison points out that “I love you” may be triggered by alcohol consumption, she dances around the real point. A man will say that he loves you to either get you into bed or because it is true. Alcohol is not an excuse for dishonesty or other bad behavior. If you are dating someone that uses alcohol as a get out of jail free card, they have an issue with their consumption.

The circumstances under which "I love you" was stated must be considered when establishing expectations. Does this person know you well enough to make such a bold statement, or have you recently met, and the phrase is being used to further a not-so-noble agenda. If so, the statement was not likely sincere, and as you continue to date “I love you” will be heard less frequently. On the other hand, if he was sincere, “I love you” will be used more and more regularly until it becomes a staple of your vocabulary.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Aren’t you being a little harsh criticizing someone’s blog? A blog is just an online journal and a place to express and share your ideas. I think that it is great that people who have something to say have a way on the internet to talk and communicate with others.

Anonymous said...

Dr. Dennison’s blog is a forum for dating advice with the focus of “making the dating and mating world safer, one woman at a time.” She is dispensing her opinion under the pretense that she has authority and experience in the field. As such, her blog is professional not personal, and her judgment as well as her writing style are held to a different standard. While I disagree with her on many topics, I do think that there is merit in her substantive content. My criticism is that when reading her blog, many of her ideas lack focus and clarity. Her stream-of consciousness approach to writing is not necessarily appropriate for the audience she is trying to reach.

Anonymous said...

I disagree with some of your comments. I find Annie Dennison's blog to be completely appropriate. I like her for many reasons, one of the main ones being because her blog is not scholarly and dry. She also makes her point without beating you over the head with it, or being so obscure it's no different from many of the other psychology websites out there. She has a very unique voice and I have never found her to be unprofessional in any way.

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