I Want to Date my Friend - Can I Afford Losing the Friendship?

When someone wants to date their friend, usually they have to make a decision. They can either 1) keep the friendship “as is” or 2) attempt to move the relationship in a different direction. Yesterday, I wrote the article Stop Being "The Friend" - Tricks for Winning the Girl, which sets forth one possible method to progress a relationship past friendship.

When someone decides that they want more out of a friendship, they need to be comfortable that they could possibly lose the friendship altogether. This fear is the main reason that a lot of people decide to continue the relationship unaffected. Their theory is that something is better than nothing even if what they are receiving is unfulfilling.

Someone’s ability to stomach risk and be able to deal with the consequences dictates whether they are more or less likely to attempt to date a friend. Neither decision is wrong, but there are a couple mitigating factors to consider.

1) Will attempting to take the relationship to a new level heavily influence other relationships with friends and family? 2) Could and would you still be friends with this person after becoming involved in a serious relationship? 3) How big a factor does a fear of loneliness play into the friendship?

It is always preferable to keep bridges intact and networks strong. However, there are occasions when a friendship should be risked for the opportunity of a greater and stronger bond. But before moving in this direction, one has to feel comfortable with the possibility is losing the person for good.