What Women Want
Men measure success through status, power and money. A great job, powerful allies, and cutting edge toys can determine pride and cause great envy. Women, on the other hand, measure their successes not only by what they own, who they know and their persuasive influence, but also through their ability to attract men, find a partner and raise a family.
Great men are macho examples of masculinity; great women are powerful feminists who also exude infinite hospitality, femininity, and charm.
The dual role of a female is difficult to balance. Women are supposed to succeed in school, sports, hobbies, and their careers while simultaneously establishing and raising a family. The ability for one person to commit enough time to flourish at all of these roles is difficult, if not impossible.
While I have come across a few notable exceptions, the primary goals of most men do not focus on getting married and raising a family. Evan Marc Katz’s writes in his September 5, 2007, article Why Reality Sucks, Fantasy Rules, and My Advice May Make You Upset that “YOU CAN’T CHANGE MEN!” I agree. So long as men are allowed to get their milk for free without buying the cow, they will continue to do so. Therefore, training men to become husbands and fathers falls upon the endless duties of women.
In our current society, being married and having a family is of greater importance to women. Not to say that men do not want families, but women are more frequently and harshly judged on their successes or failures in dating, marriage and motherhood. If the goal is marriage and having a family, then women need to realize that it is up to them to pave their own path to success.
7 comments:
I don't understand this blog. The advice writer goes back in forth on his view towards marriage. It's weird. One minute saying how great it is and then saying most men don't want to ever get married and women have to tricks guys into it. I'm a woman in my 20s. I can't have children. But I might like to get married if I meet someone nice. But I'm not obsessed with it. In fact 6 out 7 of my close girlfriends don't want children and are not in a rush to get married even. Also I'm really offended by the cow metaphor. The cow is a woman, right? Seems the advice writer is a old bachelor, and that makes sense as he keeps calling women "cows"! Yucky. Men are pigs and women are cows. Jeez. This advice writer must be really old with this viewpoint he keeps spouting. Or he's demented since he's all over the place.
Anyway, my path to success is not going to based on being married and having children, but finding someone who loves me, who treats me well, my friends, my family and working hard. Maybe the writer should reevaluate what normal goals are. Very strange blog here.
Evan Marc Katz didn't say women need to train men to be husbands and fathers. He said you can't change the ones who want to lie or string you along and don't expect to change them. Reread the article Matchinform! His point was don't try to change the douchebag, get away from him as soon as you know he's a douchebag. That's the hard part, because said douchebag is lying and stringing you along. So you are going to get hurt if you are unfortunate enough to have bumped into a liar/user douchebag guy.
Anonymous #1,
Just because you can't have your own children does not mean you CAN'T have children. I won't fault you for not wanting to sacrifice your lifestyle for children as your “opinion” is merely a result of our modern society. It pains me to think what America will become when the self deserving, self important 20 and 30 year olds are forced to grow up and don't have the baby boomers coddling them anymore.
Personally, I like the cow example. But if you wish ... "why buy the cake when the baker gives out samples for free?" Or more bluntly, "why get married to the free whore."
I agree. Not everyone wants to get married and have children. There are 100 things that I would prioritize before walking down an aisle. It sounds like this person thinks that you are nothing unless you are a housewife.
Let's see: a cow is a woman, milk is sex, babies drink milk, and the milk/sex comes from cows/women/mothers. Hmmmmm....Freud could have a field day here. But I think Matchinform is a big baby and wants to have sex with his mother. Ewwwwwwww!
The point? Use another metaphor for women please...and besides whore, cow, and cake. Maybe you wouldn't get so many nasty comments if you stop objectifying women and seeing them as people who have feelings like you do. Also, it's not a woman's responsibility to train men to do anything. A man on the basis of just being a man gets to run around and act like an ass and a woman is supposed to run around after and try to get him to act better? I give up now. That sounds like no fun to me. If that nightmare is what marriage is, I'll never get married. Thank god not everyone feels as Matchinform does! When I get married it'll be to a partner not someone I have to hope I can train to treat me well! Ugh!
It is disturbing that an advice columnist is calling women whores, cows and cake, but someone who stoops to such devices cannot be changed as he so ardently has proclaimed. Very scary stuff here. So I suggest we all stop reading this column. I won't be back again personally. But a word to Matchinform if you use such language in life or online, don't be surprised if you get nasty comments back.
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