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Wednesday, September 5, 2007

Women Over 30 (part 2)

This is a post from the abandoned blog "My Friends are Idiots."

Now, let me describe (in general) the average 30 year old female. Now I maybe generalizing a bit (well probably quite a bit, but I'm not known to be too bright). I'd like to categorize the 4 kinds of females that are over 30.

1) Married
2) Pregnant
3) Married and Pregnant
4) Desperate

(Engaged counts as married)

Now single females don't want the dubious distinction of being 'desperate' so if you are not part of the first 3 groups, and didn't want to be known as being in group 4, you would probably put yourself in group #5, group #5 being 'active manhunt' mode. (which to me doesn't really exist cause group 5 is the same as group 4....)

Now this is the average single 30 year old guy:

1) Has job. (If you're lucky, you have a good job that pays money, hopefully lots of money.)
2) Has own place. (You might not own this place but at least you're not sleeping in same room as your kid brother)
3) Has vehicle. (This is pretty much obvious, what guy doesn't have a car?)
4) Has no curfew. (This is directly related to #2)
5) Has nothing to lose. (You can pretty much do whatever you want without worrying about the consequences cause there are no consequences when you're single and 30. Who's gonna be mad if you come home at 5 in the morning, barf on the kitchen floor and pass out with one shoe on. There are no witnesses, thus no one to yell at you.)

To a single woman, from my point of view, these traits are spectacular because..

1) They are single

2) They are single

3) They are single

4) They are single

A single 30 year old female will try to grab onto whatever they can so they can get into group 1, 2 or 3 and out of group '5'. (They may think they are in group 5 but c'mon, it's really group 4.) I still haven't quite nailed down the science of exactly why they want to be in the first 3 groups but I think it's a competition thing...Therefore most girls don't want to be in group 4 since all their friends are in the first 3 groups. (The girls that want to stay in group 4 are lots of fun to party with cause instead of being solely in group 4 they belong to a sub-group of what I like to dub 'sluts'!!!)

Now it's all gold for the single guy. No more on your knees begging for a date, buddy you're the king. Who cares if you're snaggle-toothed, if the girl is over 30, she'll over look that. Got a club foot? No matter. After a girl turns 30, it's like a 'discrimination' switch gets turned off and the 'desperate' switch is flicked on. I know I may bump into alot of opposition with my opinion but look around. How many single female friends over 30 do you have? And for the girls that fall into that group, how many always complain "There are never any good single guys out there"? The first single guy they bump into will already have a running start cause you know she's looking for a mate...if they can find him. So all I can say is;

Good luck single guy, you're gonna have the time of your life, if you are really out there.....

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hahahaha! Yeah! Let's laugh at the women who are so desperate that they settle for dating fat bald old loser liar guys! Hahahaha! Some women sure are dumb.

Anonymous said...

Glad I'm over that part of my life! I'd rather be alone than settle for dating one more loser! God, amazing how many there are out there. Thanks for the reminder!