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Friday, October 5, 2007

Quit Sabotaging your Relationships

There are many ways in which we sabotage our own relationships. Sometimes we do consciously, but more often it is an unconscious act on our part. Most people want their relationships to work. When the relationship does not work they wonder why it failed. Many times the reason a relationship failed is that we were sabotaging it.

Sabotaging a relationship is something people do everyday. We do it for many different reasons. Sometimes we do it as a way of protecting ourselves; sometimes it is related to how we were raised or something that happened in a past relationship. Whatever the reason, there seems to be ten fatal flaws women make that sabotage their relationships.

The following outlines the ten fatal flaws you should be on the look out for so you can stop acting that way and have a healthy, happy relationship:

1. Choosing a partner based on the wrong criteria. If you always have a set criteria you look for in a man, maybe you are cheating yourself. You should not judge a man by what he has or doesn't have, but rather by who he is.

2. Letting the relationship progress too fast. When women are caught up in emotions they tend to let things move too quickly. By becoming too vulnerable too quickly you are opening the door for trouble. It is better to connect emotionally before letting things go too far.

3. Getting attached before you really know him. Women are emotional beings. We tend to let our heart rule our head. When you become too emotionally attached before getting to know a man then you are putting yourself at risk for ending up heart broken or being stuck in a bad relationship.

4. Being too clingy. If you abandon all your friends and all your other commitments so you can be with him all the time then you are making a major mistake. Becoming too clingy will defiantly drive him away. Not to mention that you will be driving away all the other people in your life.

5. Creating expectations. One thing women have to understand is that when they get into a relationship with a man they have to accept who he is. They can't always be trying to change him to meet their expectations. If he wasn't a millionaire when you met him, don't expect him to become one when you are together.

6. Allowing problems to build up. Many times women are content to ignore problems, thinking they will go away. When you do this you are only building yourself up for a major outburst. It is always better to handle problems directly and as soon as possible so they do not grow into something that can't be fixed.

7. Being fake. You can not try to be someone you are not just to attract a man. Once you start off lying your relationship will forever be scarred by that.

8. Lies. Lies of any kind are sure relationship killers. You have to be honest about everything from the start. If he can't accept you as you are then he isn't the right man for you.

9. Being too old fashioned. Some men appreciate a woman with old-fashioned values, but many men still prefer a women who can be independent and who thinks for herself. Men don't need a clingy, ditzy woman nor do they want one. They prefer an intellectual woman who is her own person.

10. Expecting your man to be your soul mate. Many women are on the quest to find that one true love they are meant to be with forever. Many times in this quest a woman passes up men who are wonderful and could be the one, if only they got to know them.

Having this idea of a soul mate can be quite damaging. It places unreal expectations and strain on a relationship.

Author Resource:- Jane Saeman runs a site called along with info on dating and relationship on her blog.

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