Would You Marry for Money?
The recent Craigslist posting (regarding marrying a rich husband) prompted MATCHinform to ask: would you marry for money? Did it work out, or did that person eventually drive you crazy because there was no love basis to build upon? If you did marry for money or status, does it balance out over time and did you grow to love the person?
Female 30, divorced, DC – My first marriage was not "for money" but it was to a man whose family viewed itself as wealthy. I loved him, and we built our finances mostly together, but we couldn't sustain the relationship, and the love that was there in the beginning was ultimately killed off pretty completely (no kids thank god). His extended family was very controlling, always on the lookout for gold diggers even though there wasn't much in the way of useable "gold" that we ever saw directly. My ex-husband inherited much of that controlling and critical behavior in general and was also a penny-counter over every little thing. Leaving that marriage did mean taking a financial hit, I had been a grad student for a good chunk of it, and we didn't split things 50/50, etc. Now I wouldn't dare trade a healthy relationship for additional financial resources.
Female 32, single, DC - Nope. I wouldn't do it to save my life. I was engaged to a very successful DC type, a bit older, who would have offered an extremely comfortable lifestyle, including staying at home with kids rather than working. But he wasn't a very nice person (an understatement). I missed the "lifestyle" aspects of being with the ex for a while (cars, vacations, clothes, etc.) But I don't miss being emotionally abused by a manipulative, narcissistic emotional infant. I'm so much happier now. I struggle financially sometimes, but I wouldn't trade love for any amount of money.
Female 24, single, DC - Heck no! Money helps in part of your marriage, but it DEFINITELY does not bring happiness. I looked for other qualities. Money was not a contributing "quality." Being a hard worker, determined, etc. are great qualities, not the amount in his bank account.
Female 28, married, DC - Not to be snarky or anything, but one way not to have these kind of second thoughts is to go out there and make your own money. My husband and I share everything; he's made more than I in the past; I now make a lot more than he. It doesn't matter to us; we're a team. If having a comfortable life is important to you (and there's nothing wrong with that, believe me), then go out and do your part!
2 comments:
I definitely wouldn't say that I would marry for money, but I have known since childhood that I wanted to be a stay-at-home mom, at least for a while. I would be lying if I said that this fact wasn't always in the back of my head when deciding who I want to date seriously. I don’t care if the person was wealthy, but instead wanted someone with intelligence and drive. In fact, most of the wealthy guys I knew were not driven at all, and that drove me nuts!
I am willing to bet that no one (man or woman) will readily admit that they married for money - it's just not human nature. Even groupies who marry sports/rock stars will say they were in love at some point before the marriage.
Post a Comment